Nature and Spring

"I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world, Heavenly Father created for me."

Looking at the news and then contrasting it to these images...this is better

Pictures taken in the last few weeks: I love spring!

I am sometimes still so amazed we have this beautiful view.

Even though there is lots of gardening...

I love every time the flowers pop up--it's a surprise to us every time because we have no clue what they'll be!

This is my favorite view from our front yard. I love seeing that steeple with the mountains.

Butterfly wings--there are so many butterflies up here

1. 360 view of what I see on my morning walk/runs 

2. Another view

3. Another angle

4. Fully turned...

"Written in Early Spring" by William Wordsworth (one of my favorite poets)

I heard a thousand blended notes
While in a grove I sat reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.

To her fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think
What Man has made of Man.

Through primrose tufts, in that sweet bower,
The periwinkle trailed its wreaths;
And 'tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.

The birds around me hopped and played,
Their thoughts I cannot measure - 
But the least motion which they made
It seemed a thrill of pleasure.

The budding twigs spread out their fan
To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.

If this belief from heaven be sent,
If such be Nature's holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What Man has made of Man?

Blind Dates

The thing about blind dates is that they work. Sometimes. Especially in my family.

In fact, I'd say they are hereditary.

My grandparents met on a blind date.

My parents met on a blind date.


My brother met his wife on a blind date.

And guess what my parent's first blind date consisted of?

Mini-golfing!

Guess what my first date with Ben was?

Mini-golfing!

Coincidence? I think not...

A year ago today, 25 May 2011, I went on a blind date (probably the billionth for Ben and I) with Ben, my husband.

The morning of the 24th I was having a conversation with my co-worker Josh about dating. Somehow, through a name mishap, Josh thought I was talking about Ben Browning when I was talking about a different Ben. He asked what I thought about his elders quorum president, and I responded that this person was not an elders quorum president. Well, we found out we were talking about different Bens, and Josh convinced me that I should go out with Ben Browning; after all, he was a Y graduate, too, and one of the best people he knew. He immediately texted Ben and set us up for the following night--talk about pro-activity! Ben called me that night to ask me on the phone, and we talked for an hour, and we hadn't even met each other yet!

So the next night we went mini-golfing, both a little scared that we wouldn't have anything left to talk about. However, we talked the whole game and thus played the slowest game of mini-golfing ever, and then talked in an hour in the driveway to top it all off. This was a good sign, especially for me who loves good, deep conversations--nothing compares! I was smitten, and the rest is history :)

After it all, Ben recalled that I said my grandpa had a farm in West Haven, close to where his boss had farmed as a youth. Turns out, Ben's boss is my mom's cousin who had worked on my grandpa's farm. We also found out we knew many of the same people at BYU (it's kind of ridiculous, actually), and a month before we were actually set up, someone else had said they wanted to set us up, but we didn't find out until later--crazy. So many connections, and yet it took us a while to find each other.

Timing is everything, and the Lord had the perfect time for us to find each other, May 25th. So Happy May 25th, and if you are single, go on blind dates; they may actually work on the 122nd time!

Happy Victoria Day!!!

You're about to embark on perhaps the nerdiest blog post in blog history...

Yes, it's true! It's Victoria Day!!

In fact, I didn't know there was such a thing until this year, and now I know my new favorite holiday (okay, maybe third favorite). It's actually a Canadian holiday, but who cares!? I mean, it's celebrating Victoria, my most favorite queen. Most people know, I am a little obsessed with the Victorian Era. It's kind of embarrassing actually. Big beautiful dresses, the manners, the interest in humanities, the dances, the music--oh, how I would have loved it (of course, I am ignoring the fact that it was more common to work in some factory and be deprived of all such luxuries of life).

From a Castle in England (I can't even remember which one sadly)

However, I still think living during 1837-1901 (Queen Victoria's reign) would have been quite fascinating, especially considering it's my favorite era of literature. Hand me a long Dickens or Eliot novel, and I am in heaven. I know some say that the moral at the end of such Victorian novels is didactic, but I find literature that teaches the difference between right and wrong, showing the consequences of both choices, refreshing--especially living in a world where most want to say that morality and goodness are all relative. Thank goodness for the Victorians who took a stand, even if many in that time did struggle with their own moral choices.

Reading novels in London

Now, back to my favorite queen. If you want to learn about a queen was devoted to her country, her husband, her family, and in the morals of all of the above, Queen Victoria is your queen. Her story is fascinating. She reigned for such a long time, how could she not have influence on her people? She reigned for 63 years and 7 months!

I could go on and on, but I doubt most anyone reading this would really care much :) For those who DO want to know more, watch Young Victoria (the film that came out a couple of years ago) or BBC's Victoria and Albert. While you learn about her incredible history, you will swoon at the love story of Victoria and Albert :) In fact, she loved him so much that when he died, she wore black for the rest of her life--a little morbid, I know, but what a dedicated queen!

Kensington Palace-Where Queen Victoria grew up (I lived next to this on Study Abroad)

This is a statue of Albert, Victoria's husband--He was such a good prince!

Finding out there is actually a Victoria Day, today, I had to throw a Victoria Party so I did! I invited the girl family members over last week and we feasted on food while watching the love story of Young Victoria.

Here's my attempt at a Victorian centerpiece. I had to pull out my old antique Victorian novels (some of my favorite possessions)

Here's the very unrefined spread of food (since when is cheese dip and guacamole reminiscent of the Victorians?) Oh well . . . that's what happens when work gets busy. . .

The point is we had fun celebrating, visiting, and watching the movie. This may become a tradition, but next time I want to make it more tea partyesque.

Happy Victoria Day!

Why Weber?

After I dedicated a whole post on BYU, I realized Weber should have its own spot, too, finishing my educational story. 

 My story at Weber really begins at BYU. The summer before my senior year at BYU, I was deciding whether I should go on a mission (after all, living in the mission home I saw how life-changing it could be) or go to graduate school. Although I really thought a mission would be wonderful, I always felt like something was holding me back. So I decided to pursue a Masters Degree in English. I really wanted to go to BYU (as you could guess from my gushing love for BYU). However, the program at BYU had very high standards, and I knew I would have to test really well (not my forte) to get in. I met with professors weekly, was tutored by a grammar professor on the side, and took an 8 hour a week GRE prep class for two months while juggling my rigorous senior class work load, working, and being called into a Relief Society presidency. Needless to say, it was a challenging semester. My goal was to do EVERYTHING I could do in my power and let the Lord take it from there because I knew if He wanted me to stay at BYU, it would happen.

 I first heard about Weber State at a graduate school fair at BYU. The Master's of English Chair, Dr. Merlin Cheney, was there. I spoke to him, expecting a few trivial responses but instead had a compelling conversation about nineteenth century British literature and how it can relate to the gospel (just what I love!) He seemed very eager to "recruit" me because our specialties were so similar, but my heart still held onto my BYU goal stronger than ever. I took the GRE and, for myself, received a very decent score; however, for BYU it was twenty points lower than their average acceptance. I held onto hope and kept meeting with my professors weekly for guidance in my application.

Then the letter came. This time, it was a different letter than my first one received from BYU--rejection. I immediately felt my world crushing, I went straight to the temple, trying to reconcile myself that Provo was not the place I needed to be. I talked to the chairman at BYU to see if there was any hope. The chair said that usually they had a waiting list, and I would have been the first on it, but because of the economy, this was 2009, they had limited more spots than usual.

My search for the right school began. I received recruitment letters from Notre Dame, the U, Utah State and Weber. Notre Dame!? I know. I kind of had this secret desire to be like Rudy except without football, but for a single Mormon girl looking for a Mormon boy with the clock ticking. . . that didn't feel right. Gradually, everything seemed to point towards Weber, and so my journey began. Weber would allow me to get a Masters of English and a secondary teaching certificate through the Masters of Ed program (two separate degrees at the time).

 I loved Weber for very different reasons than BYU. Weber is a commuter schools so it was hard to find the right housing with the right people. Socially, Weber proved to be much more difficult for me because so many lived at home and were friends with the same people since high school; there wasn't the same eagerness to get to know people as I had experienced at the Y. Plus, most of the people I knew were much younger. Honestly, my time at Weber was very hard, but it was all worth it. Aside from meeting Ben, which I never would have if I hadn't moved to Ogden, Weber taught me how to do hard things.

My tutoring job taught me so much about English; I learned how to write many 30 page papers in two days (of course, researching weeks in advance); for the first time, I took education classes; I lived close to my grandma so I could go and visit her more often; I became even closer friends with my cousin Sami; and I met Kelsi, which is a blessing in and of itself because I have never met someone so similar to me--it's almost uncanny!.

The institute, religious organization for young adults, made me so happy. I became good friends with the teachers, got involved in multiple service committees, made many friends,and even was able to make the auditioned institute choir group, Choralaires (which I loved!) Institute was my second home where I would study, socialize and serve.

Weber taught me to get actively involved and not wait and see what life would bring to me.

Here are some pictures reminiscing my Weber experiences.

Oh, and by the way, Ben and I met after I had already done my Masters Degree and was about to start student teaching, so he comes into the picture after Weber, technically; talk about timing!

Gospel in Action Committee Memories

Decorating for a Halloween Dance

My dear friend, Steph, who I served in the RS pres. with

Annie and I at a dance

Some of my first Ogden roommates!

Friends from Choralaires

My second year roommates!

Kelsi and I at Insititue Graduation with diplomas

Some of my fellow classmates with Dr. Cheney on the right

Choralaires--What a blessing!

My first friend in Ogden, Arianne

Kelsi and I again, basically my other half

Saturdays Warrior Party with girls in my singles ward

My fun roommate Nat and I with fun cornstarch stuff!

Roommates my second year

Fun with roommates 

Ultimately, the why of Weber was for my educational and personal growth and, ultimately, to meet Ben. That really is a why I will be eternally grateful for. 

A Mother's Love

I will always consider myself blessed because I can say that Gwen Connors is my mother.

My mom taught me clearly and lovingly the difference between right and wrong. She taught me to stand up for what's right, regardless of the social consequences. She taught me to put the Lord first in my life and that if I did that, everything else would fall into place. My mom showed me what faith looks like: an undeviating conviction that God lives no matter the trials that befall. My mom taught me to thirst for knowledge and to immerse myself in the best literature, entertainment, and music. My mom emulates selfless service in every daily act she performs. She is ALWAYS thinking of others before herself. There are too many qualities to name here, but my mom has shown me love in more ways than I can count, but one example that comes to mind comes from not too long ago.

When I was single, my mom would wait up for me until after midnight, many times, to hear about dates I would go on, make sure I was safe, and to offer some kind advice and support when I needed it most; she knew that I needed her through that time when everyone and everything else had its inconsistencies, which comes with single adult life, but she was right there, the most consistent support in my life. Our talks give me strength. I am lucky to say that my mom is one of my best friends.

I now have another example of motherhood in my life through Ben's mom. I have already begun to learn so much from Deanna. She is another example of putting the Lord first in her life. She is constantly serving others whether it's coming and helping us garden, cleaning our house before we moved in, or taking us to do fun things; her life of service makes me want to focus on others the way she does. Deanna loves learning, which is a trait I really admire. She is involved in so many things, volunteering at the hospital, a book club, Daughters of the Utah pioneers, and I love how actively involved she is with life! Her well-rounded example has transferred to her sons. I am so glad she has shaped and influenced Ben, so he could be the man I am married to today.

Where would we be without our mothers' love?

The Y

I remember that it was lunch time; I was awaiting my mom's phone call, knowing that the letter of acceptance or rejection would arrive any day now. I had little hope I would get in. I had not tested well on the ACT, even after doing the ACT prep course, CD, and taking the ACT itself three times. Because I had gone to three high schools in three states in three years, I didn't have a chance to involve myself in musicals, clubs, or AP classes because I would always miss deadlines. I did have a few awards, good grades, honor classes, and lots and lots of choir/singing participation, but that did not seem "enough" for BYU, and you know what, it probably wasn't. My cell phone, which at the time could only be used in situations like that, started chanting it's song, and I knew the moment of truth had arrived. Where would I go for the next four years of my life?

Rushing home, I wondered what my fate would be. I quickly ran into the doorway, my mom handed me a package, and she was right by my side as I tore open the large white envelope. I read the first sentence that had the word "congratulate," and I felt a wave of relief rush over me. It seemed too good to be true. Was I really good enough to go to a school known for its populace of "smart people"? I started crying. My mom started crying. We both knew that the only reason I had gotten in was that was exactly where I needed to be.

I remember the anticipation of finding out who my roommate was and knowing I wouldn't know many others who would go to BYU. I knew I would be hundreds of miles away from my parents in Washington, and I wondered how it would all go. I felt like I had no idea what to expect. I'll never forget my first day leaving my parents at the airport, who couldn't come with me because they were on their mission, arriving in SLC where my sweet grandma had forgotten where she parked, wandering around the parking lots at the airport for two hours, finally arriving at DT, unpacking all my things, and being alone in that bare cinder block wall room. Most others had their parents helping them get settled in for their first year of college away from home, and I felt kind of homesick that first day, wishing my parents could experience those first couple days with me.

Soon enough, girls started knocking on doors and getting to know each other. Most of us were in the same boat: out of state, not knowing many, and for the first time in our lives, on our own. Friendships were quickly formed and we became each other's home away from home. So many of my friends stemmed from that freshmen year where we all were looking out for one another.

There were many amazing things that happened to me at BYU: I miraculously received good grades even though my test taking skills were less than most; I was able to participate in a couple of Relief Society presidencies that strengthened my testimony and love for others; I established my independence; I had amazing job opportunities; I developed wonderful friendships with many of my professors; I was able to go so many devotionals and CES Firesides to watch and see apostles speak and teach LIVE; and I was able to get involved and serve. Out of all those wonderful, life-changing opportunities, the thing that I loved the most was being surrounded by such good, inspiring friends who made me want to be better. I had never been surrounded by that many good examples in my life. I couldn't have asked for better friends and roommates there. At first, knowing so many amazing, smart, beautiful, athletic, musical, and sweet people was intimidating, and it made just about every freshmen want to join the "BYU--Where Your Best Hasn't Been Good Enough Since 1875" Facebook group. After that phase passed, I realized. . .I am so lucky to learn from so many talented people! The people are what made my memories. Here are some memories with them that remind me why I loved BYU:

I have too memories to count with Erica at BYU. 

Before a dance with friends and roommates-- I loved going to dances in those days. 

A wonderful group of friends I found Senior year. 

 My roommates my senior year in front of our apartment--such cute girls!

My real first experience with snow happened at BYU, and us girls from CA were fascinated!

Decorating our apartment

Family Home Evening groups--always so fun. 

Attending and watching many dear friends find their eternal companion and setting good examples.

 

BYU football games (this was my first one with my roommate, Amy)

Wonderful uplifting conversations (many with Caring Carrie :)

Dear friends and family supporting me as I presented a paper I wrote at a Literary Conference.

Going to delicious places like the creamery with friends 

Erica. Again. Seriously, when Ben and I were walking around campus Saturday I told him that when I think of BYU campus I think of Erica. We had so many of the same classes, went to every devotional together, had lunches together, and have the same birthday (irrelevant but still amazing).

Once most of my friends were married/on missions, I found an amazing group of older friends who I needed so much at that time in my life. So, naturally, we became roommates. 

I learned so much from being a part of two amazing relief society presidencies (one freshmen year with Sheree and one my senior year).

 

I went on the most amazing St. George road trip ever

Then it was time to graduate (with the dearest of friends).

Graduation was hard for me (you can tell just by looking at my tired, sad eyes it this picture). I didn't want to leave. But I knew I had to. BYU was a place where I had learned so much spiritually, emotionally, and academically. It was hard work, and even though I loved it, there were still many hard times. For whatever reason, BYU was the place I needed to learn and grow in. I knew that for me, my BYU experiences were so special to me, and if I had just stayed there to work some non-fulfilling job just so I could hang around Provo, it would be a rude awakening for me, and BYU would no longer be the same place I had dreamed it up to be. So I left. That time it was for a different kind of adventure, and one that was harder than my BYU adventure but much needed.  

I remember my freshmen year my religion teacher told us "Every time you get discouraged about being here, look up at the Y, and think to yourself 'Why are you here?'" 

Now I can look back and see the "why" BYU had in my life. And that "Y" has shaped who I am today.