Every Six Months

April and October are not only (in my opinion) the most beautiful months of the year--I love the transitional seasons--but they are two of my most favorite months because it means it's time for General Conference when we get to listen to the words of modern day prophets and apostles, reminding us all that God speaks today and that He has a LIVING church.

Leaves I collected at the cabin this weekend. 

I love it because I always hear exactly what I needed to hear. Although this has been the best year in so many ways (all because I am married to Ben :), it has probably been the hardest for me as I am trying to find my new place as a newlywed in a fairly established area. Sometimes it feels like I will never "catch up" with everyone else, and yes, I know--it's not a race, but it's sometimes hard to not feel left behind.

Until January, I went to school for twenty four years of my life--straight, and I'll be honest, I miss the school environment dreadfully. Everyone keeps asking me why I am not teaching, and there are many times I ask myself the same question, but I have strongly felt that I need to be doing the job I have now (and thank goodness because with all the family stuff that has come up this year, I would never be able to take the time off if I was teaching school). Most days I am alone in my house working from my computer, doing house chores, and random projects from 7 AM until 5:30 PM with the occasional phone call and work IMs. A hermit, practically. I basically live for the moment Ben walks in the door and then all happiness returns :)  My life feels like it has come to an abrupt stop. I used to be so involved in various clubs and organizations. I used to constantly socialize. I used to soak up my classes and readings and enjoy every bit of it. I used to thrive off of going to devotionals, CES firesides, and institute classes. That whole world changed so suddenly, and I am now trying to find where I fit in and how I can make a difference at this new stage.

General Conference helped give me so much perspective. I especially needed to hear President Uchtdorf and President Eyring's talks.

I needed to hear this:

"Isn’t it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we often even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, were an accomplishment or sign of a superior life. Is it? I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time."

-President Uchtdorf

And this: 

"In the depths of his anguish in Liberty Jail, the Prophet Joseph Smith cried out: “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?” (D&C 121:1). Many of us, in moments of personal anguish, feel that God is far from us. The pavilion that seems to intercept divine aid does not cover God; it occasionally covers us. God is never hidden, yet sometimes we are, covered by a pavilion of motivations that draw us away from God and make Him seem distant and inaccessible. Our own desires, rather than a feeling of “Thy will be done” (Matthew 6:10), create the feeling of a pavilion blocking God. God is not unable to see us or communicate with us, but we may be unwilling to listen or submit to His will and His time.

Our feelings of separation from God will diminish as we become more childlike before Him. That is not easy in a world where the opinions of other human beings can have such an effect on our motives. But it will help us recognize this truth: God is close to us and aware of us and never hides from His faithful children."

-President Eyring

This gave me some perspective (along with some help from my husband) to see that this is a BEAUTIFUL time of life where I have opportunities to participate with family and help serve that I may not have time to later on. I have been creating some of my own "pavilions" that I need to let go. Through conference I felt the reassuring love that Heavenly Father had not forgotten me nor any one of his other children. Because in those moments, He is trying us and letting us experience more humility. Life really is SO good, and I have an amazing husband by my side who makes everything better.

We went to the cabin with my family for conference (this has to be one of my favorite traditions). I love going on walks and enjoying the crisp fall air in between sessions, getting away from all worldly distractions. The weekend was highlighted with talks with my mom, sniffles because of sickness, and me baking and making meals. To top such an uplifting weekend off, Ben and I saw a mama moose with  a baby moose SO close to us and the cabin; we watched it for about a half hour.

Chillin on the turf

It kept looking at us all friendly-like

Mama and baby

It was a very friendly moose :) 

It really was!

And then it finally stood up for us, yay!

It was a wonderful conference, as it always was, and I feel renewed with more purpose. And I got to see a moose.