Thursday, January 15, 2015

Create: Why I Love to Cook


In October of 2008, I was a senior at BYU. I was insanely busy with work, applying for grad schools, attending an eight hour a week GRE prep class, had a demanding church calling, and was loving my sixteen credits of classes. Most all of my close BYU friends had gotten married or had left on missions during that summer, so I was essentially starting over again socially that senior year at BYU, and, in the process, made many life long friends, but it was hard at first...I was feeling left behind. 

I'll never forget my busyness cluttering my mind as I went to the General Relief Society Meeting. Once the meeting began, I was able to clear my thoughts and focus on these words by President Uchtdorf: 

The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.
Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”
If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. 5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.
-President Uchtdorf
My first thought was--what in the world do I create? I don't enjoy creating; I enjoy enjoying others' creations! At the time, if someone had asked me what my hobbies were, I would have replied "dancing, singing, reading, watching a musical, going to a museum, and baking." I love reading others' works, I love looking at others' art, I love listening to others' music, I enjoy watching others' play sports, I love admiring others' crafts. BUT I didn't feel like I actually enjoyed doing any of those things. In fact, when I was an English major, everyone would ask me if I enjoyed writing, and I would reply "not at all! I love researching and reading though!" To this day, I feel like creating is something that doesn't come naturally to me, but President Uchtdorf made me re-think the way I lived life--I realized I was living as a sponge but not as a contributor. 
Although creating is still a challenge for me, in more ways than one, I have tried to make more of an effort to create since I finished school and have more time on my hands. Instead of immediately turning down opportunities to craft, if the project is simple enough, I try it, even though I would be much more comfortable and relaxed reading a book. But the truth is, with the few crafts I have done, there is a sense of satisfaction that comes in a much different way than when I read a book or go to a musical--it's that little voice saying, "Wow! I did this! I created this out of nothing!" I have also tried to blog and write Goodreads reviews to keep up on my writing, even though I am sometimes embarrassed about my lack of writing style. I have tried to be more diligent at creating, and the way I have found the most joy in creating is through cooking and baking. 
When I was a junior in high school, I had a best friend who LOVED to bake, and we would often get together and make something. My Young Women's group had a cooking mutual once a month that I loved! I didn't grow up baking or cooking, but my interest started to grow that junior year. Through college, I would bake & cook a few recipes over and over again, but I didn't try anything too hard. However, I did consider it something I enjoyed, especially since I got to eat the results (did I mention eating is one of my favorite things?). 
I relished the luxury of finally having my own kitchen when Ben and I got married. I worked from home and finally had the time (or made the time) to focus on cooking and baking. I started with simple recipes and worked from there. The personal satisfaction I get from cooking a recipe and having people love it is probably one of my top five favorite feelings :) 
This doesn't mean me and baking have always gotten along...making food look good is one of my hardest struggles (you'll notice in the pictures)--actually, making anything look good is one of my biggest struggles--but it is something I am working on.  It took me about 7 times to make yeast cooperate (I had never watched anyone make homemade bread!), and I told Ben "Yeast and I are just not meant to be." I gave it one more go, and we've been great friends ever since! Creating inevitably equals some failures, some detours, and some Pinterest Fails, but I am starting to learn that's part of the JOY of creating! Creating something delicious out of some flour and sugar and butter (of course) is one of my happy places--who knew? I finally am finding some joy in creating!
Thanks to President Uchtdorf, my desire to create is still growing, and I think I am recognizing more and more the reason why "creating" is innate within us--it just takes some of us longer than others to find it. 


 Razzleberry Pie


Artisan Bread



Breadsticks!


Oh Pinterest




One of my Beehives helped me decorate the first double layer cake I had ever made. 



Cheese sticks (cheese is the ingredient of happiness)



Choc Chip Cookie Dough Double Layer Cake








Strawberry Pie


First time piping frosting



Gingerbread waffles with homemade syrup



Cinnamon Toast Rolls



Double Layer Carrot Cake


Honey Callah Bread (I forgot to take the picture until we had already eaten half of it) :)





Sunday, January 4, 2015

Returning to My Roots


When I think of growing up, I think of the beautiful Temecula valley--the way the air tastes misty with a hint of ocean, the frost covered winter mornings, the penetrating heat of summer, the green rolling hills cluttered with large boulders, the Native American history, the simpelness of Old Town, the California ranch feel, and the occasional pour down of rain. All of these memories were collected over my first sixteen years of life there. 

It has been twelve years since I called the Temecula valley home, but returning to visit my parents for holidays and trips gives me nostalgia of the place I called home longer than any other. On our occasional trip to CA, it is so fun to show Ben visuals of my memories. And the truth is, Temecula, will always be where my roots are.

We were able to spend time with my family in CA for Christmas. We experienced beautiful weather, fun family times, and good bonding time!


The view from my parents' deck



I sometimes forget I grew up in a semi-tropical place! Here are the flowers at my parents...


 We had a fun date day! Ben and I got in a day before everyone else arrived because my parents had attended my brothers' graduation at BYU-I--congrats, Mike and Seth!


I got to finally show Ben around Old Town. Temecula has sure boomed in the last ten years; it no longer has a small town feel and has the traffic, stores, and tourism of a bigger city!



My parents' Christmas tree!



My parents' new, snazzy deck!


After our fun date day, we had so much in with the family! It was our first Connors Christmas with grandchildren involved--so fun!


These little nephews love each other!




Everett fell asleep holding my arm :)


Then we had family pictures! We still haven't received the professional ones back yet, but here's what was taken with Ben's camera!














The above picture makes me laugh so hard. This is the true chaos of pictures. 



I can't get enough of Chase and Everett!





We had lots of fun Spot It rounds! 


Christmas morning!!



All of the Connors girls' Christmas trees! In case you were wondering who lost, it was me!

After a fun few days with family--talking, eating, singing, and playing games, we ventured to the Newport Beach area!


Chrystal Cove--one of my new favorite beaches!












After some beach walking, we went to the Newport Mall, all bundled up!



Newport Temple!


After such a fun week, we came home to this:


And, ironically, two days after we arrived home, Temecula was hit with a snow storm (only the third time in twenty years), and the snow stuck six inches! Now that would have been a sight to see! Luckily, I was able to live vicariously through family who all were still in town :)