The last few months I have been marveling that it has been ten years, a decade, since I graduated from high school and started my BYU journey. I was never one to be super homesick; I guess you could say there was a part of me that was so excited to be independent. My parents were mission presidents in Washington at the time, so they could not come and "drop me off" at school like every other freshmen's parents in the entire universe (it felt like.) So we said goodbye at the WA airport. I remember crying when my mom started to cry. I wasn't expecting saying goodbye to my mom to be so hard (definitely, the hardest part.) Getting to the dorms, you realize, "Wow, I know no one! And now I am supposed to be a grown up and live on my own and pretend I know how to do this." Even though it scared me half to death in some ways, there was always a part of me that loved that feeling of independence.
Ten years later I look at that little me starting off at college and wonder how I've changed. Here are some things I have learned about myself in the past ten years:
1. I am passionate--for good and for bad. Everything I do in life, I do with mucho gusto. I will cry if I hear music that transcends earthly sounds, I will burst with joy if I see baby animals or a gorgeous lake, and I can fume with frustration if I find myself irritated. This = that I can be too sensitive. Whether it's accepting a criticism about the way I fold a towel or cut a tomato, it can all feel personal, and I can let my passion get the best of me. It's all the Anne of Green Gables side of me that I am still learning how to bridle. I think I knew this growing up, and I know my parents knew this growing up (unfortunately). But it's something I really recognized in myself once I was in college. I have had to really work on emphasizing the good parts of living with passion and minimize my passion in regards to negative emotions.
2. I am in love with learning. I loved soaking up everything I could learn (I take that back, I had no sponge-like qualities when it came to math or science). I loved my college classes. I loved my teachers. I loved our class discussions. I loved my graduate program. I loved being assigned to read novels and poems. I did not love when it stopped. When Ben and I got married, my formal education "halted" as I had just completed my master's degree and student teaching. That first year of marriage I didn't know what to do with myself--no school, no homework, no educational milestones to be striving for. Then I realized, for me to thrive I must have an educational outlet. So I created reading goals for myself and became involved in book clubs. I am now involved with the Treehouse Children's Museum in Ogden and love our emphasis on encouraging literacy; it gives me purpose. Learning gives me a sense of direction.
3. Friendships mean the world to me. I have made so many friends the past ten years--from BYU to Weber State to institute to different jobs to different wards and different callings. I have loved it. I love friendships where you can talk so deeply; I live for them!
4. I don't think I realized how much I liked to travel until I was out on my own. I blame it on Study Abroad in London, traveling the country every day for two months; although exhausting, I relished it. I also realized that I love traveling to learn. I am not so much a 'lie on the beach and fry' kind of vacation person, although an occasional trip to somewhere relaxing with beautiful scenery, reading, and some BBC movies involved can get me excited. Being married has added a whole other dimension of travel. We can save and plan when we want to go explore--from the south, to the east coast, to the pacific northwest, I have loved "exploring!" And on top of that, I love planning our trips--researching every tidbit: where to eat, where to stay, what to see, what not to see, hidden places, etc. If I were re-incarnated, I would come back a travel agent.
5. The gospel of Jesus Christ really is everything to me. Life is good, but life is also hard. Our trials come and go from one to another, but Heavenly Father is always right there, waiting to answer our prayers and bless us if we turn to him. This is a gospel of peace. Of hope. Of light. Of faith. Of joy. He can always show us the joy and hope if we let him. The nature of my trials have changed since being a freshmen at BYU and stressing about my biology class, dating (or the lack thereof), or how I would get somewhere with no car, but He has never changed. He's still there for me. Always has been. Always will.
Some flashback pictures from the first weeks of BYU:
