I know I didn't have to wait as long as many do to get married. I know I had many experiences I would probably never have if I had met Ben right away. I know that much of my single adult time was wonderful and would qualify as "fun." I know everything worked out the way it was supposed to. This does not mean being single long after most of my friends married and started their families was easy, even with some very neat opportunities. In fact, it was hard. Truly hard. Lonely--at times. I sincerely celebrated and rejoiced with my friends as their lives seemed to speed by in their married lives with children. However, there were times that I couldn't help but feel a little left behind.
Although receiving a Master's degree and participating in committees were some rewarding experiences, I ached to have the fulfillment of starting a family some day, and after a while in Ogden where prospects my age were limited, that hope seemed bleak.Scripture study, prayer, getting involved in service, going to devotionals and firesides, completing my education, working, and maintaining and keeping fulfilling friendships were what got me through the hard times. And to so many of you friends who got married earlier on and started your family, thank you for your persistence in keeping me a part of your friendship and for never putting me down and never making me feel like I wasn't good enough because my experiences were different. I can't count the number of times I have expressed gratitude for you friends who never abandoned me during those trying times whether through phone calls, text messages, and visits. You could have decided to "move on" because our lives became so dissimilar than they used to be, but instead you were there to set the example of what kind of wife and mother I would hope to and aspire to be.
I have many heroes. They range from James Madison to Hyrum Smith to my grandpa to William Wordsworth. Some of my heroes are some strong women leaders in the church.
Through those trying times, I read many church books in addition to my scriptures study, and so many of the things I read helped boost my spirits and reassured me that I was doing what I was supposed to (through the Spirit). Among these books I read many by Sheri Dew, Ardeth Kapp, and Wendy Watson Nelson (Elder Nelson's wife). I have always admired these women from a far, reading their books and hearing them speak. Sister Dew and Sister Nelson both came and did firesides when I was a single adult, and their remarks inspired me. I always felt the resolve to "hold on thy way" (D&C 129) after listening to them and to use that time to do as much good as I possibly could. Both were examples of being single for many years and still having the resolve to keep DOING and to act, even when times are discouraging.
Due to work circumstances, I was able to be in the same room with Sheri Dew, Wendy Watson Nelson, and Ardeth Kapp for two days with just thirty other people. I just felt so energized and motivated to be and do good with these wonderful examples and to have the wonderful experience to talk to each of them individually and for quite a while. Sister Dew gets so much done effectively; she is to the point while still being loving. Sister Kapp was so sweet and gracious and makes you feel like a million dollars. Sister Nelson is also so sweet and has the willingness to say things how they truly are. I was able to ask Sister Kapp some questions about how to approach modesty with young women--what better person to ask than the former general young women's president? :) They are all so kind, and I want to be like them! I want to have the energy they do. I want to "not be ashamed of the gospel of Christ" to the point they are, where they say things exactly how they are in a loving way without worrying about offending others. I want to always have a thirst for knowledge like they have. I want to be unafraid to say kind words, give someone in need a hug, and to devote my life to service. I told them when I got the picture taken with them that I would look at it and think that's what I want to be like. I hope I can follow how I feel :)
