The week after Josh's funeral, we knew we had to make a game plan of what to do when we got "the call" that the birth mother was in labor. Because we had mixed signals--the birth mother thinking the baby was coming early but the doctor not agreeing--we weren't sure if we should go out early. We knew we wanted to be there as close to his birth as possible so we could meet Connor right away but weren't sure when to go out. Ultimately, we decided my mom and I would leave on August 8th. The due date was August 17th so if the baby came early, we would likely be there, but if the baby was late, I would spend time with my family who lives in California while Ben worked. Then when we would get the call, I would be right there to meet Connor and take care of him, and Ben would fly immediately down. We knew that for legal reasons we would be in California for a minimum of two weeks, but we also knew that if there were any medical challenges or legal complications, we could be there for even longer (you have to wait to leave the state for out-of-state-adoptions for a designated amount of time, which varies between states.) Because we could be there much longer than anticipated, we knew we would want our car with all our baby gear.
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| In the car after getting the call. |
On Friday, the morning of August 4th, at 6:50 am, I woke up hearing Ben talking on the phone. I could tell he was talking to the birth dad because they were talking about an Uber ride, which was a frequent point of conversation. All of a sudden, I heard the word "epidural." I shot out of bed like I had been struck by lightning as Ben came back into the bedroom. I was freaking out--"Was that the call!?" He said, "That was the call!" We wanted to start packing everything in the car as quickly as possible, but first, Ben had to set up an Uber to get the birth dad back to his apartment from the hospital so he could get a few things for the delivery. We were so ecstatic but in total shock. It wasn't how we had anticipated getting the call because the plan had been that the attorney would call us to verify the hospital had our info and knew we would be coming. The other unexpected part was that instead of being born in the hospital we all had been planning on, the birth mother was in a totally different hospital thirty minutes away from where we were planning. When the birth parents had called the ambulance, they were in a town I grew up in, Murrieta, so the hospital she was taken to was not expecting us nor did they have our paperwork. Even though it was stressful that the hospital didn't have the right paperwork, we were relieved it was in a town I knew well! Once the Uber and hospital logistics were worked through, we were packing as fast as we possibly could--I didn't know it was possible to get two weeks worth of necessities so fast. We knew if she already had had her epidural, it could be anytime! Luckily, we had already packed all of Connor's baby stuff in his nursery, so it was getting us packed that was the hard part. Leaving the house dirty for at least two weeks was hard for me, and I was regretting not cleaning it the night before (but at the same time we were living up our last night of pre-parenthood, haha), but we knew we had to leave FAST!
We got in the car and arranged to meet Ben's mom on the side of the freeway to pick up a pack n' play (lifesaver!). A shower was planned for me by Ben's side of the family the very next day, which was so sweet! Many had gone in on a group gift and had purchased a pack n' play, which we were hoping to use in California. We picked it up, and then we were on our way! I was sad I missed the shower by one day but was so elated we were on our way to meet our baby boy.
We had been talking a couple days before about how we would rather get the call and leave to CA together with that adrenaline rush, as opposed to me going out with my mom and then going by myself while Ben caught a plane. Although it was so much better that it happened the way it did, it ended up being a very quiet car ride. There were a lot of nerves--would it all go okay? Would the birth parents like us in person? Would the hospital accommodate us? (Some hospitals let the adoptive parents have a hospital room with the baby; some don't, and some of it depends on the time of the birth and their volume of patients.) Were we going to be good parents?
Only a couple of hours into the drive, we got a call from the birth mom saying, "He's here. I had him after two pushes." I asked her how she was feeling, and she said, "Much better!" I was so relieved to hear she and Connor were okay! But I was so sad because we still had 8-9 hours to go, and it broke my heart knowing we weren't there. The birth mom felt that it would be too hard to see him (she was very insistent about this), so he was immediately taken to the nursery. We called the hospital and asked how he was doing. They said he was "peacefully sleeping and waiting for us in the nursery." We heard he was 7 lbs and 19.5 inches, but the hospital was not allowed to send a picture to us, so we would have to wait until we got there. (I am now glad that it happened this way so we could see him for the first time in person, but at the time, it was hard!) They relieved our fears and said they would have a room for us to stay in when we got there.
The worst part of the drive was nearing and exiting Las Vegas. We ran into the Friday Vegas traffic, which I didn't know existed, and I wanted to shout to everyone, "Our baby is sitting in the nursery waiting for us! Everyone, move!" Mean, I know!
As we neared the hospital, we got a call from the birth dad and the attorney that the birth mom and birth dad were waiting for us to come and wanted to meet us. Then they would be immediately discharged from the hospital, per their request. We were anxious to meet these two people whom we had come to know and love!
Once the hospital got in view, I stepped out of the car, knowing our lives would never be the same. We were greeted by the hospital social workers, who were so nice, and taken upstairs. Before we could meet Connor, we were scheduled to meet the birth mom. We entered her room, and I just loved her! She had made me a mom, and I am forever grateful for that! She was bubbly and smiley, and we both talked about how we looked like our pictures. She said she was in pain all night, but thought it had just been back pain until this morning. I expressed my feelings towards her, but there are some things words just can't capture. It was a moment I will have etched in my heart forever more.
We were then summoned by the social worker and hospital nurse to sign paperwork. The nurses were so supportive and wonderful! The hospital was a Seventh Day Adventist one, and all of our nurses talked about how involved God is in adoption--we loved it. We went and signed paperwork (by this time, I was dying to meet Connor! Like, my heart was going to explode! He was eleven hours old.) After we signed the paperwork, I asked if we could finally meet him. She said "let me bring you to your room, and we'll wheel him in."
We anxiously awaited that little bassinet being wheeled in, and when it was, we saw the most handsome, sweet baby boy we had ever beheld. He had blonde/strawberry blonde hair and the cutest face. Minutes after meeting him, Connor was so alert. He gazed at us, and we knew he was ours and we were his. The feeling of peace in the room was indescribable, and we had a feeling Uncle Josh had been able to see us and help us meet our baby boy.
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| Meeting Connor for the first time |
We were with Connor for twenty minutes when we heard the birth dad had come back to the hospital to meet us. We took turns going to meet him, and he was so nice! He greeted us with a hug and was so friendly and he joked about what great taste they had in choosing us--so sweet. The birth parents had to get going, but we told them both how grateful they were that they chose us, and that we would love to send pictures when they were ready.
Once they left, we turned on some soft lullaby music and just fell in love with Connor and being his parents. Everything about him was so perfect. We had been waiting for him for so long. We were finally parents, and he was totally worth the wait. We started our nightly bedtime routine, and it was beautiful. We were in the hospital for two days before we were discharged (he had to stay an extra day for observation because he had no pre-natal care).
On the way from the hospital to my parents' home, we discussed how miraculous it was to go to the hospital in the same town that my parents were trying to sell their house. This meant that we could stay there after we were discharged--thanks to my generous parents! The hospital is also only ten minutes away from my Grandma! What blessings and tender mercies! This meant that we didn't have to stay in a dumpy hotel for two weeks with a newborn baby. Instead, we could live more than comfortably in my parents' home with family visiting!
We had to stay in California for two weeks to be cleared to leave the state with him (normal CA protocol.) In the waiting, my mom stayed with us to help; my dad came to meet Connor; my grandma came and visited multiple times; my brother and sister-in-law came with their kids and we had a blast together! Towards the end, Ben's parents came out for a couple of days! It was so much fun to show them where I grew up and for them to meet Connor. Then it was time to head home. We did a twelve hour road trip over two days with a two week old baby, which I wouldn't recommend, haha, but all things considering, Connor did wonderful.
Connor has been such a sweet and mellow baby. He is very observant and loves to just look around and take everything in. He loves to smile when you baby talk to him or sing. He loves having a schedule (so far.) Connor has captured out hearts, and somehow it feels like this was always how it was supposed to be.
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